lost mojo

i’m feeling drained, tired, and generally uninspired. the work i’m doing is so fun and i’m proud of it, but it’s not exciting me for some reason. the cards i pulled this morning are ones i’ve drawn very recently, and aren’t speaking to me in a meaningful way. what’s a reader to do?

beth’s finding your mojo spread, of course.

1. here’s my mojo:

IMG_0362the wheel of fortune. this isn’t my birth card, or even one that i work with or feel especially drawn to, but it makes sense to me here. i do value the connections between things, the colorful threads that tie everything together, even when events seem completely random. i enjoy the mystery and chaos that lie on the surface, and feel such relief and awe when things start to fall into place on a deeper level. there is only so much that we can control, and sometimes all i can do is let things go, and let fate take over. the only thing that is constant is change, heraclitus wrote, and there’s something comforting in that. my mojo is linked to control and power, to the inevitability of change, to surrendering to destiny. i’m more at peace when i stop trying to control everything and simply follow those vibrant threads that connect every person and thing, when i accept my small role in this world and don’t try to make it something that it isn’t.

 

2. here’s what’s getting in the way:

IMG_0305the three of wands. a card so perfect in this position, it made me laugh out loud. envisioning the future, as the wild unknown guidebook says about this card, always seems to cause me problems. i don’t have huge goals for my life, often resisting the so-called five- or ten-year-plan that so many others cling to. and tied with the wheel of fortune as my mojo, of course i would struggle when considering if all of these different types of shoots are ultimately going to help or hurt my career.

while i like being constantly busy and having work coming in all the time, every “traditional” job i’ve had has left me exhausted, frustrated, and doubting myself. freelancing is difficult but i know that it truly is the right path for me – i love the freedom to pick and choose work, love challenging myself to solve problems and grow, love working with new clients and new photography styles and new events. i thrive in the unknown, succeed when things are unpredictable, push myself harder when the outcome is unclear. clarifying my goals is something i hate to do, but feeling like i should be more goal-oriented is absolutely blocking my mojo these days.

3. solution:

father-of-cupsthe father of cups. if there’s a more appropriate card for this position, i can’t think of it. open-minded, calm, sensitive, and strong, he doesn’t hide from his emotions – he thrives on them, knowing the power that they contain. rather than the more introspective, mysterious members of his court, he harnesses the power of his connections and feelings in a stabilizing, empathetic way, and pushes that energy outward. his emotions do not control him – he understands and values their strength, and allows them to connect him to the world and people that he values.

what a beautiful card for me, in this position. while the action-oriented, fiery wands can stress me out and block me, making me second-guess my drive and lack of detailed goals for myself, the cups always bring me back to center. i trust my intuition, value my emotions, and rely heavily on my ability to read and navigate difficult situations. i work best when i work by instinct, following my gut to find a solution that feels right. it’s time to stop doubting myself, stop trying to make my life fit into a neat little box, and instead enjoy the fact that i’m a bit different. so what if my goals and dreams aren’t the same as others? who cares if i don’t know where i want to be (or who i want to be) in twenty years? does it really matter if i’m unique, independent, utterly strange? what’s most important is that i’m confident and content with my choices, that i trust myself, that i follow my heart.

mojo: found.

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shifting perspective

after all of the emotion and release that happened yesterday, i wasn’t sure what the cards would have in store for me today. but a new card is always an exciting challenge, and the hanged man is an excellent opportunity to explore new facets of my deck.

IMG_0364suspended upside-down, the bat views the world in his own unique way. finding rest during the daylight hours and coming out to hunt and explore only in darkness, he comes at life from a different angle. everything is a bit off-center, new and sometimes strange, but for him this is his daily routine. the only color in this card is in his eyes, blood red and wide open.

there are a lot of interpretations for this card – sacrifice, surrender, release, struggle, restriction, suspense, retreat, meditation, resistance. it all comes back to this idea of waiting, whether intentionally or not, along with seeing things from a new perspective. he transcends what is “normal,” and instead approaches problems from an unexpected position. while being upside-down can be an uncomfortable position for us, for him it feels natural and relaxed. this card can encourage us to seek stillness, to find rest in spite of what feels difficult, or to prepare for a unpleasant or uncomfortable situation that is approaching.
son-of-wandsi may have taken a step forward, but there are much more difficult ones to come. for me, this card is a reminder to try to see the perspective of others, to find stillness and calm in uncomfortable places, and to keep my eyes open and aware.

seeking more insight into this difficult card, i gave myself an additional card for clarification: the son of wands, a card with a completely different energy. while on his own he speaks to drive, passion, and adventure, when paired with the hanged man he could be suggesting putting all of that energy and action into embracing that new perspective. rather than struggling against what could feel like a trap, relaxing into an uncomfortable position can force us to stretch and grow in ways that soon feel like second nature. like a challenging yoga inversion, sometimes pushing ourselves outside our comfort zone can ultimately strengthen us, helping us master what at first felt impossible.

i love this pairing. both the hanged man and the son of wands are independent, self-sufficient, and utterly free. they create their own perspective, push themselves to do things differently, and don’t shy away from the unknown. it’s a beautiful lesson for today.