reverence & gratitude

it’s been a truly incredible few days. my letters were received with love and kindness, and now i can proudly say that i am out to my entire immediate family. it’s been years in the making, and i feel such a profound sense of relief, release, and rest. i was able to celebrate my first pride weekend with the knowledge that i’m living honestly and truly.

the-empresstoday’s card is nurturing, holistic, and compassionate: the empress. and she’s a beautiful reflection of the energy i feel today.

i love this card. the ultimate earth mother, she is creative, gentle, strong, warm, sensual, comforting, and free. she’s completely unapologetic for being herself and taking up space – there’s such an easy confidence about her. the empress knows her value and her worth, is sure of her place in the world. she gives of herself, openly and honestly, and thrives when she can comfort and nurture others around her. unlike the high priestess, that lives in mystery and shadows and stillness, the empress is utterly grounded, deeply connected to nature and the world around her. she is filled with love and generosity of spirit, with no rules or expectations or judgements. she is a warm embrace, a long walk through a beautiful forest, a cozy spot by a roaring fire.

the empress embodies the strengths and spirits of all four mothers in the deck: the fierce determination of the mother of wands, the insightful tranquility of the mother of cups, the experienced and wise perception of the mother of swords, and the patient compassion of the mother of pentacles. she pushes us to use all of our senses and abilities, to open ourselves to possibility, and to step fully into opportunities. but because she also represents sensuality, fertility, and cultivation, the empress can remind us to be aware of what we’re nurturing, and who (or what) is nurturing us.

after pushing myself hard to be open and honest with those i love, the empress speaks to me of peace, rest, and contentment. today is a day for love, calm reflection, and kindness, of nurturing myself.

breathe deep

i’ve been pulling a lot of positive cards lately – ones that encourage me to look forward to what’s ahead, to seek hope and adventure, to start something new and embrace my own power through it. and it’s been lovely to feel so much strength and energy flowing through these cards – but it’s been a bit overwhelming too. today’s card, the seven of cups, seems to reflect and understand that perfectly. IMG_0338

i’ve written about this card before, and while it’s not always the most welcome sight in a
daily reading, it can also be a bit of a relief to have feelings acknowledged. this card flips everything on its head, and we don’t know which way is up, what time or place or day it is, or even how to move forward. it takes things we thought we were sure of and makes us question them. it can be an indication to stop, look around, take a breath, reassess. things are not what they seem, confusion is afoot, something is amiss.

i’ve been procrastinating, unsure, feeling simultaneously afraid to start and oh-so-tired of being stagnant. depression, especially when it lingers, is like slogging through mud, like wandering through fog, and it makes everything feel slow and heavy and exhausting. and as i attempt to stand up and stumble out of this darkness, to find my way back to who i know i can be, it’s hard to know how to get back into real life again.

the-empressin an effort to seek guidance, i pulled a second card for clarification, and got some serious female power: the empress. she’s beautiful and bold, a colorful beacon in the darkness. this strong tree is constantly evolving with the seasons, and her brilliant shades of pink and purple speak of spring, of the growth and life that come after a long period of cold darkness. she is warm, gentle, compassionate, and strong.

both of these cards are set at night, but reveal very different truths. while the seven reflects the confusion that darkness can bring, the confusing emotions and conflicting directions, the empress is solid and grounded, confident in her light and her strength. the darkness only serves to illuminate her, causing that which is insignificant to fade into the background.

and while it’s okay to be unsure sometimes, to feel hesitant or weak or confused about the next step, the empress reminds me that there can be power in the darkness. finding that inner light is not always easy, but that doesn’t mean that it has faded away.

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