passing time

after a hectic and challenging week, along with a running race that i was certainly not prepared for and a busy weekend of planning several upcoming trips, i’m now facing a very quiet few days. only one shoot scheduled, editing finished, nothing major on the agenda. it was no surprise to draw a card that so often symbolizes confusion, procrastination, and choices: the seven of cups.

IMG_0338this card pops up a lot, both in my daily readings and also in my thoughts. it’s beautiful and confusing, a colorful, entrancing illusion, often pointing to tangled feelings, deception, temptation, or the power of dreams and decisions. sometimes we get so caught up in a fantasy that we lose our grasp on what’s actually in front of us; other times we’re simply dazzled by all of the lovely options in front of us and paralyzed by choice. in my case, a sudden end of my work to-do list leaves me with endless options for how to spend my week. my personal tendency to disappear and lose time can often take over, and since i’m still considering how best to compose coming-out letters to family members, my brain feels like a jumbled mess. i’ve been relying on my work to keep me busy, but now that everything is completed i need to come to terms with the best way to communicate.

i don’t mind mystery or challenges, but this card can point to so many things that i often pull a clarifying card along with it to give me a direction to consider. in this case, my card is much more grounded and clear: the mother of pentacles. whenever i pull this card i feel that it’s reminding me to care for mother-of-pentaclesmy husband and family, to use my energy and resources to help them however possible. with extra time and energy this week, it seems like a perfect opportunity to offer assistance, get organized, and be a kind and compassionate caretaker. my husband is very overwhelmed these days and while i can’t solve any of his problems (my first instinct when things are going badly for anyone), i can listen, offer empathy, and do what i can to lift other small burdens around the house. i’m not always good with words, preferring to express affection and love through actions or gifts, but in this case my energy can be focused on a way that it will have true impact on the ones that need it.

the mother of pentacles feels like the opposite of self-care; rather, she devotes her time and resources to those she cares about. i can use my energy for them today, and find a way to help myself tomorrow.

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sevens, sevens

i’ve been feeling pretty disconnected from my cards for the last week or so. drawings have been stagnant, i’m seeing the same themes in my daily pulls, and have just felt stunted. the last few weeks have dragged as i continue to hurry up and wait for this move to progress, and the cards are absolutely reflecting that. i haven’t really felt inspired to write about these cards, as they share similar themes: the four of cups, the five of wands, the seven of swords. i’m stuck, distracted, overwhelmed, confused.

today’s card is no different, but i want to get back in this practice and glean as much as i can from the cards, even when i’m in a bad cycle. today’s card is apt: the seven of cups.

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this is a card that looks really different in both traditional rider-waite, and also changed significantly from the first edition of wild unknown (i have the second edition), so there’s a lot of symbolism to unpack. while other depictions feature clouds, with cups full of many choices, this newer card instead has a backdrop of mountains and darkness, with an inverted sun and a slim sliver of moon. it’s hard to tell if the cups are empty or full, and having both major celestial beings featured along with the disorienting placement of the cups creates an overall theme of illusion, confusion, and indecision.

sevens are typically cards of attainment and action, giving advice on how to achieve goals and what steps to take next. in this case, the seven cups face different directions, indicating that emotions are high and very confused. so many choices, potential directions to go, mesmerizing fantasies and tangled feelings. i don’t read reversals but this card works both ways, giving it even more layers of meaning.

for me, this card perfectly reflects how i’m feeling. i’m running in circles, not accomplishing much, feeling like there’s so much to do but afraid to start. i think that while this seven acknowledges where i’m at, it also reminds me to take a deep breath, try to see past the fantasies and illusions and focus on what’s real. the hard decisions have been made, and now i just need to prepare myself for the next steps.