sevens, sevens

i’ve been feeling pretty disconnected from my cards for the last week or so. drawings have been stagnant, i’m seeing the same themes in my daily pulls, and have just felt stunted. the last few weeks have dragged as i continue to hurry up and wait for this move to progress, and the cards are absolutely reflecting that. i haven’t really felt inspired to write about these cards, as they share similar themes: the four of cups, the five of wands, the seven of swords. i’m stuck, distracted, overwhelmed, confused.

today’s card is no different, but i want to get back in this practice and glean as much as i can from the cards, even when i’m in a bad cycle. today’s card is apt: the seven of cups.

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this is a card that looks really different in both traditional rider-waite, and also changed significantly from the first edition of wild unknown (i have the second edition), so there’s a lot of symbolism to unpack. while other depictions feature clouds, with cups full of many choices, this newer card instead has a backdrop of mountains and darkness, with an inverted sun and a slim sliver of moon. it’s hard to tell if the cups are empty or full, and having both major celestial beings featured along with the disorienting placement of the cups creates an overall theme of illusion, confusion, and indecision.

sevens are typically cards of attainment and action, giving advice on how to achieve goals and what steps to take next. in this case, the seven cups face different directions, indicating that emotions are high and very confused. so many choices, potential directions to go, mesmerizing fantasies and tangled feelings. i don’t read reversals but this card works both ways, giving it even more layers of meaning.

for me, this card perfectly reflects how i’m feeling. i’m running in circles, not accomplishing much, feeling like there’s so much to do but afraid to start. i think that while this seven acknowledges where i’m at, it also reminds me to take a deep breath, try to see past the fantasies and illusions and focus on what’s real. the hard decisions have been made, and now i just need to prepare myself for the next steps.

 

 

 

 

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pausing to breathe

i’ve been pulling a lot of joyful cups lately, reminding me to give love, to seek happiness, to experience the full range of emotions that my heart has to give. today, however, is the day for a few of those darker feelings to come in: the five of cups.

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this card is a bit sad, true – the poor horse looks lost and beaten-down, and stares morosely into the darkness around her. she’s so deeply entrenched in her grief and pain that she completely misses the five cups hovering overhead, full of light and comfort.

but while this five can signal challenges in emotions, difficult feelings, and disappointment in relationships, it also seems to give permission to just be sad for awhile. so often when we’re dealing with something painful, the first instinct is to say “buck up! don’t be sad! look around at everything wonderful! it’s not that bad! get back to regular life!” but i’ve found that pushing away dark feelings and pretending they don’t exist doesn’t actually make them go away – it simply allows them to hide and fester, eating away at any positive ground until they become so strong that they cannot be ignored any longer. i think acknowledging our emotions, whether they’re positive or negative, is such a difficult but important part of being human.

as someone that deals with depression, i don’t always have a choice – depression is synonymous with genuinely sad emotions like grief, regret, or sorrow. it’s painful and impossible, and it comes from a different place that’s outside of relationships and circumstances. but while it’s not exactly the same, my depression has taught me that giving myself permission to be sad, no matter where those feelings come from, can be a gift. sometimes we just need to retreat into the darkness, mourn and cry and scream, and release all of that pain. we might channel it into art or music or writing or beauty, or we might simply let it go. and when we’re ready to come back to the light, all we have to do is look around and see those bright, overflowing cups  – that previously were just out of reach.

 

 

 

 

that overflowing cup

after so many intense cards – the moon, the devil, three tens in a row – it feels extremely calming and empowering to receive an ace today in my daily reading. all those end-of-cycle cards, signaling burnout and struggles and difficulties, are in the past, and in front of me is a lovely new beginning. and as a scorpio, a water sign, someone that deeply identifies with emotion and passion and intuition, it’s especially sweet that today’s card is the ace of cups.

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i love aces. they just brim with possibility, the start of a fresh journey, a new opportunity on the horizon. looking at that beautiful cup, the golden glow around it, the varying shades of blue surrounding it: this card just oozes tranquility. and while cups don’t simply represent positive feelings but the full emotional spectrum, all the love and joy and kindness and fulfillment alongside the sadness and grief and anger and loneliness and disappointment that come with being human – this ace speaks to love and friendship, to spiritual awakenings, to a new chapter that’s marked by health and pleasure.

one aspect that speaks to me especially is the idea of an open heart, and allowing the emotions that develop to have the freedom and space to move and evolve and exist. i think that it’s so easy for us as modern people to fight our emotions, to try to put them into neat little labeled boxes or to push them aside and pretend they don’t exist. tears and anger and fear have somehow become synonymous with weakness, as if having strong emotions somehow makes us less capable of being strong people. feelings can be messy, and complicated, and can be so overwhelming at times that it’s hard to see past them.

but giving ourselves permission to experience the full range of emotions, without censoring or rationalizing or blocking or apologizing, can be such a powerful thing. surrendering to relationships or creativity or spirituality or whatever is beckoning can be a game-changer, and open us up to so many new possibilities and experiences. after so many dark, difficult, mysterious cards, it’s a joy to move into a new phase, and look to a new period of bright opportunity.

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