reverence & gratitude

it’s been a truly incredible few days. my letters were received with love and kindness, and now i can proudly say that i am out to my entire immediate family. it’s been years in the making, and i feel such a profound sense of relief, release, and rest. i was able to celebrate my first pride weekend with the knowledge that i’m living honestly and truly.

the-empresstoday’s card is nurturing, holistic, and compassionate: the empress. and she’s a beautiful reflection of the energy i feel today.

i love this card. the ultimate earth mother, she is creative, gentle, strong, warm, sensual, comforting, and free. she’s completely unapologetic for being herself and taking up space – there’s such an easy confidence about her. the empress knows her value and her worth, is sure of her place in the world. she gives of herself, openly and honestly, and thrives when she can comfort and nurture others around her. unlike the high priestess, that lives in mystery and shadows and stillness, the empress is utterly grounded, deeply connected to nature and the world around her. she is filled with love and generosity of spirit, with no rules or expectations or judgements. she is a warm embrace, a long walk through a beautiful forest, a cozy spot by a roaring fire.

the empress embodies the strengths and spirits of all four mothers in the deck: the fierce determination of the mother of wands, the insightful tranquility of the mother of cups, the experienced and wise perception of the mother of swords, and the patient compassion of the mother of pentacles. she pushes us to use all of our senses and abilities, to open ourselves to possibility, and to step fully into opportunities. but because she also represents sensuality, fertility, and cultivation, the empress can remind us to be aware of what we’re nurturing, and who (or what) is nurturing us.

after pushing myself hard to be open and honest with those i love, the empress speaks to me of peace, rest, and contentment. today is a day for love, calm reflection, and kindness, of nurturing myself.

drowning in empathy

empathy is a tricky, beautiful, difficult thing. someone without enough can come across callous and cold, heartless and unkind. but someone with too much can seem fragile and sensitive, or can take on so much of another’s feelings that they seem to forget whose feelings are whose. i’ve been thinking a lot on the role of empathy lately, and what it means to be an empath, so pulling the mother of cups today feels just right.mother-of-cups

i’ve gotten this card in both daily readings and larger spreads before, and i always love to see this queen in all of her glory. i love her intelligence, her mystery, her sensitivity and strength. to me, she is the master of her own heart and emotions, but is also incredibly attentive to the needs of others. she has the gift of intuition, a deep awareness of her emotional self, and the ability to care for others in a way that seems to go above and beyond what many are capable of. there’s such kindness in this card, a tranquility and inner strength that i admire and hope i can someday find.

i don’t consider myself to be an empath, but i do find myself feeling exhausted or bogged down if important¬†people in my life are having a tough time. my partner has been dealing with intense work stress for most of our marriage but particularly the past six months or so, it’s impossible not to feel the impact it has on my own emotions, and can sometimes even manifest into physical symptoms. similarly, when close friends or family are going through difficult periods, instability with moods, or times of stress, i have to work hard not to drown in it myself. i want to care for them and take some of that weight, but i often don’t know where to put it except onto my own shoulders.

today, the mother of cups feels like both an acknowledgement and an encouragement. compassion is generally good, empathy is generally helpful, being in touch with our emotions is generally powerful. but putting aside our own mental health to aid others isn’t something that should be done lightly, and expressing kindness to ourselves can be just as important as finding kindness for others. the mother of cups is quiet and wise, and knows when and how to use her abilities in the best way possible. it’s a lesson i need to learn, and i believe she can teach me a lot.

 

finding heart

after yesterday’s five of cups, i was rather expecting another card that would follow in the same pattern. perhaps the three of swords, or the five of pentacles, or the ten of wands. but instead i pulled a much stronger, more empowering card: the mother of cups.

mother-of-cups

having just worked with this card in a larger spread based on my career, this queen of the emotional realm is certainly a welcome sight. a far cry from the yesterday’s five, which i certainly experienced throughout the day, this card represents strong intuition, creativity, compassion, and tranquility. her psychic abilities and gentle awareness bring healing and sensitivity to those around her.

while the mother of cups is certainly a card i would work towards, today i think she is simply reminding me to trust my intuition and find heart. by being kind to myself and offering compassion to others, i can have a much more positive and constructive day than yesterday’s wallowing in sadness and pain. my intuition is strong, and while that can sometimes be a painful thing, i’m grateful for the wisdom it can bring in difficult situations. by choosing to remain ¬†open, even in the face of the full spectrum of human emotion, i will only grow stronger and more aware.