finding balance

there’s beauty in moderation.

temperance

…right?

today’s card is temperance, yet another major arcana card that i haven’t worked with, and what feels like the proper conclusion to my three-day stretch of intense, challenging cards. the moon, the devil, temperance – this trio of fierce, powerful cards has been pushing me hard.

i’ve read a variety of bloggers that find temperance a boring, rather uninspired card – one that can scold or nag, tell us to pull back, calm down, get it together. and while i can certainly understand that interpretation, seeing it for the first time in this context of difficult cards actually gives me a lot of hope and inspiration.

temperance can be an admonition of restraint or self-control, but the wild unknown focuses on the ideas of renewal, healing, awareness, and balance, which i find lovely. after cards that tell me to find my madness, but perhaps not overdo it, this feels like a reminder that harmony in all things is vital. diving into the hidden mysteries of the moon is a beautiful thing, but the devil tells me to be aware of the temptation to become addicted to the quiet, luscious fantasy.

as i work to find balance in my life, it’s clear to me that my default mode is one of quiet introspection. given a day or two without work or clear plans, i slip into a vague world of books, tarot, music, and very little else. i don’t take myself out to meals, find photography projects, or even cook – i simply exist in a peaceful, sedentary world of my own making. lately the days are slipping by with very little to define them, strings of beads that are all hazy and identical. what have i been doing with my time besides reading, exploring my cards, taking baths? it sounds incredibly lazy and self-indulgent, and it is – after long weeks of dealing with my dog’s illness, being sick myself, and throwing myself into work during every spare minute, i seem to have slipped into a waking dream.

i’ve thought these cards were about my tarot practice, but perhaps it’s a bigger issue at play here – my introspection seems to have reached expert level status, and i’m quite content to have little structure and next to no human interaction. and perhaps this is just a long period of healing, from so much stress with holidays and travel, the inauguration and resulting horrors, waiting every day to move to a new neighborhood, starting therapy. perhaps i’ve spent so many weeks under the moon, wandering a dark landscape that only i can see, that it’s time to pull myself out and back into the real world. i know i drift into the darkness easily, and it’s not all bad there – but it can’t be the only place i live.

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